I realize it sounds like a huge lie, but Wesley Morris of the Boston Globe had a great time watching BloodRayne. Seriously. It apparently filled several needs that Morris didn't even know he had, primary among them a desire to see "a celebrity death match between Kristanna Loken and the increasingly shameless Ben Kingsley." Sweet, a hot chick and an Oscar winner trying to kill one another- really, who can't get behind that? While the writer's affection for the movie stems mostly from the fact that he decides it's trashy fun, he claims that the writing by Guinevere Turner is actually sort of "smart." I know it seems impossible in a film that is both directed by Uwe Boll and based on a non-Lara Croft video game but, according to Morris, the script gives BloodRayne "the woman's backbone usually missing from these wet T-shirt contests." Who knew?

I don't know about you, but I'm very alarmed by this development. The movie already has vampires - and Meat Loaf, too. I'm already only resisting by the skin of my teeth; the last thing I need is an encouraging review. And, I mean, the man is a professional movie critic, people - not Boll's mom, or even a rabid gamer!

Even if there's no way you'll be persuaded to drop money on a Boll film, the review, which concludes with the brave assertion that the "film might be the first of its kind: something to bring Maxim subscribers, video gamers, and loyal Logo viewers together" is certainly worth a read.