Look, let's face it: if you're interested in seeing any of the three movies opening wide today, you're sure as hell not going to read reviews to see if they're any good. Which is just as well, really, since two of the three - BloodRayne and Grandma's Boy - managed to stay successfully hidden from critics until the last minute, while the third - Hostel - snuck out and got blood all over a handful of reviewers but didn't do much else worth noting.

If you're actually looking to see something good this weekend (Perish the thought, I know - personally, I'm actually thinking about paying to sit through BloodRayne), I am legally obligated to remind you that both Munich and Match Point are expanding this weekend. (Weirdly, British critics are not as enamored of the latter as we are. Make of that what you will.)

Anyway, those of you who are rushing to see sold-out showings of Grandma's Boy, Hostel, and BloodRayne tonight, please come back and give us your (brief, but still gushing) reports in the comments so that your fellow readers have something to go on.